the abomination i call myself

So what if I'm still addicted?
Maybe I don't like feeling conflicted
If you hate it so much, then just look the other way
It doesn't matter to me, you're kicking me out anyways

Loving things that hurt
Sex in a church
Are you proud of me now?
Constantly in pain
Eyes always strained
Why do you keep me around?

Soon I will leave, and you don't mind
I'm not the type of person you would try to find
Because I will drag you in and down
With me to the dead end
That's what you said

Improvised important decisions
Comprised of unholy imperfections
Am I still your pride and joy?
Do this, do that,
Fuck your free will, follow this map.
To the narrow gravel road to heaven
So you can spend eternity, serving and worshipping

I would rather be a ghost
To stay and wonder the endless tyranny of humanity..