Hopeless.

I've been in love.
It's painful, pointless, and overrated.
Yet I crave it so, I'm a bit of a contradiction you see.
I crave to be touched, by someone. Anyone. Just to feel alive for a moment. Just to feel anything, anything but misery.
Yet I flinch every time someone is close enough.

I have become rather fearful I suppose.

It's a tragedy when the hopeless romantic turns into the frost bitten realist.
For you see, when HE broke my heart, I spent my time wandering in search for a place I'd call home again.
Arms holding me felt more like a home rather than four walls.
The only problem is, I've spent a year as a ghost, one with a beating heart, and I'm not sure where home is anymore. There's no place for those like me. No "I've missed you." No warm enticing gaze to draw me into an embrace.
There's nothingness.
There's just rubble, ashes, debris from the forgotten war.
I ask to feel again.
Make me feel. I dare you, because nothing does anymore.

Stay away. Like a coiled up snake I'll strike if you come too close.
Poison will flood through your veins.
Your eyes will cease to flutter, your shallow breathing will come to an end, your heart will stop.
I will kill you.

Such a contradiction, you see.

I'll welcome you with open arms, hiding away the "stay away" sign.
Damaged people damage people, it took me years to realize this.
So proceed with caution when it comes to me.
For you should beware of the heartless, who make your heart beat quickly.
For as much as I crave love, for now all I can do is use someone else's heart

Because mine won't start.