the Shadow of my existence

It's 4 o'clock in the morning - the day has not even started.
I lie awake in my bed, gripped by the fear of the Shadow.
I feel its presence just lurking in the darkness nearby.

On with the lights, and look under my bed?
No, I don't want to see it. I don't want to find it.
I wish that Shadow away, but it taunts me and it tells me I will never be free.
The Shadow it owns me, for I am its slave.

Morning is coming, and I exist yet again.
Nobody doth like me, especially not I. Why would they, how could they, for I am so gray.
Held down by this Shadow in the darkness of despair.
I am so tired of this life, why must I be here?

Help do I seek in taming this demonic Shadow
At a time when I struggle to think straight, my mind but a blur.
Tangled inside, and lost in myself, must get back to the light, did I think
Away from that Shadow that plagues my soul and blinds my sight.

Before I am free, that Shadow doth return, takes me back into despair.
I thought I could fight it, defeat it and win. Thought I was better,
For I can see hope, and I feel the light, but I cannot defeat it
For confused is my mind; it is stronger than me!  It cannot be beaten, no the Shadow has won.

I must break free from this Shadow
but I am too weak to defeat it
So I bow down to the Shadow
and it keeps me down

I can't defeat the darkness, with anguish all consuming,
I just lay here and let the Shadow take me back to the Hell of my existence.
I am lost.