deepundergroundpoetry.com
Live the lie Baby
I have to live the lie that really, I'm just tired.
3 kids, a dog, the job... my melancholly sigh.
I need to live the lie, and hide and stay inside
No answering that phone, pretending I'm not home.
I have to be a girl; hormonal and unsure.
A thin and willowy bird. Delicate, not disturbed.
I fake the smile, ice thin.Chat; banal, hollow tin.
The girls are 'fine', me too. Fine fine fine, and you?
I want to touch the core. Rip it out; pull with force.
This thing that stole my life. Don't want it any more.
I have to live the lie, that I'm good. Don't make me cry.
Touch me something please or I will simply, quietly leave.
Don't speak to me, just be. Content to know and see.
Don't push, don't preach, don't tell. Don't pray that I get well.
I have to live the lie -I have that happy life
and not curl up and cry ' bastard fucking why? '
I have to tell the lie I want to live, oh yes,
not die.
3 kids, a dog, the job... my melancholly sigh.
I need to live the lie, and hide and stay inside
No answering that phone, pretending I'm not home.
I have to be a girl; hormonal and unsure.
A thin and willowy bird. Delicate, not disturbed.
I fake the smile, ice thin.Chat; banal, hollow tin.
The girls are 'fine', me too. Fine fine fine, and you?
I want to touch the core. Rip it out; pull with force.
This thing that stole my life. Don't want it any more.
I have to live the lie, that I'm good. Don't make me cry.
Touch me something please or I will simply, quietly leave.
Don't speak to me, just be. Content to know and see.
Don't push, don't preach, don't tell. Don't pray that I get well.
I have to live the lie -I have that happy life
and not curl up and cry ' bastard fucking why? '
I have to tell the lie I want to live, oh yes,
not die.
Published 14th Apr 2011
| Edited 15th Apr 2011
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The author encourages honest critique.
15th Apr 2011 00:46am
I very much like the use of rhyme and meter here, it adds to the air of reciting something for others' benefit, of putting on a show. The lines and rhymes don't seem forced either, which is excellent. Two small things: I think the last few lines got scrunched up and need to be edited smooth, and the couplet "This thing that lives my life/Go please, please go just go" perhaps could be altered to rhyme like the rest? Overall though, a great piece.
15th Apr 2011 9:14am
Thank you. I can't re position the last few lines no matter what I do. I have tried different fonts and re writing, but it keeps messing up??
Point agreed on non rhyming couplet. On reflection this morning it looked wrong to me too. Perhaps I should post in the morning and not late at night! Thank you though as I was a virgin till last night and it's quite a daunting thing exposing yourself here !
Point agreed on non rhyming couplet. On reflection this morning it looked wrong to me too. Perhaps I should post in the morning and not late at night! Thank you though as I was a virgin till last night and it's quite a daunting thing exposing yourself here !
15th Apr 2011 11:25pm
16th Apr 2011 00:28am
