Remember When...

Remember when all you worried about was if you got to play at recess?
Remember when school was fun and you had friends?
Remember when lunch was a sandwich with an apple and chips and maybe a dessert?
Remember when the smile you wore on your face was real?
Or when long sleeves were really meant to keep you warm.
That was elementary, where everything seemed perfect
Little crushes on the cute boys and getting your first period
Your life was full of innocence.
Remember when you started worrying about having brand new classes and way too many tests?
Remember when the guy you had a crush on finally kissed you!
Or even worse maybe kissed your best friend.
And remember when you started to skip lunch a couple times a week?
And started to give up on how you looked because you felt numb anyways?
That was middle school, where things began to change.
And suddenly you weren’t so innocent.
Things got a little harder but you made it through.
Remember when you got broken up with and you thought your life was over?
Remember when you started to drink to hide the pain?
Remember when you let those boys take advantage of you?
And you gave something special to random guys that would never care?
Remember when you started stressing over your looks?
You dolled yourself up to impress the kids at school.
Remember when you started to skip class?
Because anything was easier than feeling stupid and worthless.
Remember when lunch became a time to sleep?
And food was always on your mind but never in your stomach.
And remember hiding in a bathroom, taking a test and praying it was a negative?
Instead of sitting in a classroom praying you passed the final exam.
Remember when you fell down the stairs in front of the principle.
Everyone thought you lost your balance.
But your best friend picked the water bottle up and hide it from everyone so you didn’t get in trouble?
Remember that guy that you really liked and you thought he liked you too?
You snuck out of the house to go see him, and got in trouble the next day and you didn’t care.
But then one day he just disappeared?
You spent weeks crying.
Remember when you chugged a bunch of pills to make the pain go away.
But your mom found out and rushed you to the hospital.
Or when bled out your wrists trying to kill the demon inside.
But it never worked.
Remember when you wish you could take back everything you did.
Go back to the middle school kisses and elementary recesses.
This is high school.
Where life does a 360
Sharpeners are used as weapons
Lunchrooms are full of rumors
Your eyes distort the beautiful person that you see in the mirror
Where teachers only care about a paycheck
Your life is full of doubt.
Yes I do remember.