'Exit, stage-left'

How could it be
you never loved me?
I'm sitting
in front of my window
into the early hours,
clock strikes 3
My emotions...
an ocean ebb, and flow

How could it be
you didn't want me?
Fool that I was
my heart was abuzz
Imagination gone amuck
running rampantly
in my eyes
you was all there ever was

How is it
that  I can't get back
all the joy that lived in me?
well you told me matter of fact
Dimwit! , open your eyes, and see!

So this time
it has finally  come
I purchased a gun
to quiet all the demons
raise up, and cheer
looks like you've won...

and I...
I've resigned myself,
that at the stroke of twelve...

never mind the obligatory  grieving
just know, that's when I'll be leaving...