The Street Cure

I am nothing without you

but I say this in a way
that is far more intrinsically true

than if I uttered these words
in any other context

I remember life
when the only cure
was tears and superficial bleeding

I never wanted to die

I just wanted to see the pain
as something that was real

There was a  silent unseen force crippling
my sanity from within

while all the while they only saw me smile-
and I was so good at smiling

it was never real until
I met you

until I tasted your sweet
surrender
and knew what it felt like
to truly
breathe

now the tears don't come
but I'm still
stumped

I love you

I want to be with you every day
because you make me happy

happy in a way that the contents of monday
through friday pill boxes
never could

they stopped the pain
and replaced it with nothing.

I am nothing without you.
I am in pain without you

but on those strictly
philosophical
days

I wonder why I refused the prescription
but indulged this addiction
with desperate satisfation

I wonder

do I always need drugs to be high?