Release Therapy

I hate rejection.
I’m willing to give out my heart to so many people but I hate when one piece isn’t returned.
I’m selfish.
Here I am watching this man be happy with another girl and touch her more willingly than he ever would touch me.
But I gave him a piece…and he didn’t return it.

He let it burn and now a piece of my heart feels permanently gone.
My heart is barely mine anymore.
I should be okay with this

I should be happy for my friend but envy seems to consume me more than I’m willing to admit.
He ‘s smiling at her…He never looked at me like that

I’m closer to tears and it’s so sad. Why oh why does this seem to bother me?
He deserves to be with someone who makes him happy.
But why can’t it be me?
Why can’t I demand the love and appreciation of every male I throw myself at?
You win some you lose some.

I just hate feeling like I will forever be stuck with half-ass when others are being given continents and islands, oceans and seas.
What am I given?
Rocks and puddles are what I am given. I don’t get to receive beautiful diamonds and hidden jewels.

Let them be happy I plead with myself
I can’t help but feel like I’m being left behind.

I am the owner of my own heart…and I need to be okay with that.
I NEED to be okay….
But..I’m not.