deepundergroundpoetry.com
Unforgivable
I prayed to you, I prayed through life
I begged to choose, I begged to die
I'm on my knees
I'm clasping hands
I'm screaming please
Hear my demands
All I wanted was to end this hurting
Nobody wants a life of suffering
Torn asunder from heavens denial
Rebuilt from the rejection pile
I prayed to you, I prayed to none
I begged for use, I begged for love
I'm off my knees
You're off your cross
Broken and unclean
I'm fucking lost
Published 22nd Aug 2014
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likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 9
reads 912
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
22nd Aug 2014 8:09pm
Nicely written, good use of anaphora. Definite emphasis on the main character being "I", and it expresses quite splendidly primitive emotions that lie deep within all of us.
23rd Aug 2014 1:12am
23rd Aug 2014 2:07am
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I think half the reason I even believe is just so I have someone to hate other than myself
23rd Aug 2014 10:04am
Powerful starting lines, but it doesn't end there, 'cause from start to finish, the whole poem is filled with emotions that catches the reader's attention. Excellent, my friend.
23rd Aug 2014 12:19pm
23rd Aug 2014 12:48pm
24th Aug 2014 8:50am
And here i was thinking only I was feeling like this.
Thank you for this Esoteric
Thank you for this Esoteric
24th Aug 2014 9:05am
8th Sep 2014 11:42pm
