Settle to Lose

Things never seem the same
When you look back from whence you came
Realization hits you like a wheelbarrow full of bricks
This newfound process only worsens your little mental ticks
And then you don't know what to do or who to run to
And your left debating the worth of what they say is true

Living in a constant state of question
Asking yourself: "Do they know what they do only lessens
the quality, and probably quantity, of your years here on Earth?"
Always weighing the pros and cons of your fickle worth
In and out and out and back, your minds changes and warps
Never knowing what to feel and what to just ignore

It's days like these when I wake up
And instantly feel the crushing weight
It's 8 AM and you've already had enough
As though your confidence is many years too late
Thinking and mulling over and over-analyzing
Co-morbid guilt and selfishness can be paralyzing

So you decide to lay down and get in bed
Only you've spent way too much time doing it
The only thing is that your body is pure lead
And you can't figure out the right way to go about it
You talk yourself out of it but it's no use
There is no winning this when you have to settle to lose