deepundergroundpoetry.com
BPD
I'm trying to find the right words to say, to express how I feel inside
But my emotions are flying around in every direction, like some crazy roller coaster ride.
From rage to peace to depression to happiness and everything else in between
I'm constantly fighting this battle that can never be seen.
My fingers type away, anxious to release the pent up emotions, but then I stop in confusion
Because half the time I don't even know if what I'm feeling is real or just some delusion.
And yet, even if they are a delusion, they are real to me, just like the other emotions that I know to be true
And all that does is add in more confusion, so I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to do.
I know why I feel these emotions, yet at the same time I don't; can you see how crazy this is starting to sound
Welcome to my world, where my emotions seem stuck on a never ending loop, always going round and round.
My emotions are part of what define me, hence why I cannot be defined by one type of personality
I have no MPD, yet I'm told I am defined by many personalities; doesn't that sound like a fun reality?
To have one personality but many at the same time, no concrete identity or sense of clarity
To know it can never fully go away, even if you do spend years of your life in therapy?
Don't think I want your sympathy, because others who can empathize know that's not something we seek.
I write this because I need to release what I feel inside, and I can't use my other method and ruin my streak
Now you see a small glimpse into the world of BPD, this disorder that is so hard to understand
At the very least, I suppose I can say that we are unique, and anything but bland...
But my emotions are flying around in every direction, like some crazy roller coaster ride.
From rage to peace to depression to happiness and everything else in between
I'm constantly fighting this battle that can never be seen.
My fingers type away, anxious to release the pent up emotions, but then I stop in confusion
Because half the time I don't even know if what I'm feeling is real or just some delusion.
And yet, even if they are a delusion, they are real to me, just like the other emotions that I know to be true
And all that does is add in more confusion, so I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to do.
I know why I feel these emotions, yet at the same time I don't; can you see how crazy this is starting to sound
Welcome to my world, where my emotions seem stuck on a never ending loop, always going round and round.
My emotions are part of what define me, hence why I cannot be defined by one type of personality
I have no MPD, yet I'm told I am defined by many personalities; doesn't that sound like a fun reality?
To have one personality but many at the same time, no concrete identity or sense of clarity
To know it can never fully go away, even if you do spend years of your life in therapy?
Don't think I want your sympathy, because others who can empathize know that's not something we seek.
I write this because I need to release what I feel inside, and I can't use my other method and ruin my streak
Now you see a small glimpse into the world of BPD, this disorder that is so hard to understand
At the very least, I suppose I can say that we are unique, and anything but bland...
Published 11th Aug 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
24th Aug 2014 7:29am
Good stuff, man!
