The Future Is A Lie Too

Why can't I sleep at night?  
I keep having these thoughts   
That I'm trying to fight  
Feeling alone feels like death  
I arrive at a desolate paradise
Where I can't catch my breath  
Weighing my emotions   
Heavy on my chest  
I'm tired of living   
If I'm living only to regret  
   
And I'm sorry that we never met   
I speak of you, only to myself  
Every day is a black spell  
I'm sick of wandering   
Lost in the dark, pondering  
Fate is haunting me   
A sad world of anxiety   
Remains  
   
There is no way out  
There must be, but  
I carry this self doubt.  
   
So happiness goes untouched.  
Eventhough you are   
Out of reach   
I still love you so much.