I am sorry for being fucked up

I am so sorry for being fucked up:


I can’t imagine it, I tried, I tried, but every time I do, I die, I die without you, I cannot live without you


I want to be strong, but the truth is I am just so week, now that you come into my life, without you I’d die


I can’t concentrate, I cannot focus, nothing works right, everything falls apart, I just can’t move or think


I understand how a drug user feels, I hate the withdraws, because without you, I fall down, and I can’t, I can’t


The world seems so useless, there is no smile in me, no happiness in anything, I can’t stand the pain, I can’t, I can’t


Do I have to admit this to me, do I have to face this thing, I never wanted to live my life this way, needing, needing,


I always had to be strong, and now look at me, I am mess and I don’t even know who I am, I wonder what this is for


Did I do some sinful thing, did I curse the gods, did I cause someone’s hurting, I’m being tortured I don’t know why


Sitting on the floor in the dark, I wonder what I did to make my world fall apart, and become dependent on you


I just can’t think of what I did, I tried so hard to be good, I never said anything mean, I have always been honest


I have gotten mad to protect myself, I had said and done something’s, is it why I am being punished this dramatic


I want to be strong, but the truth is I am just so week, now that you come into my life, without you I’d die


I can’t concentrate, I cannot focus, nothing works right, everything falls apart, I just can’t move or think


I can’t imagine I tried, I tried, but every time I do, I die, I die without you, I cannot live without you


The world seems so useless, there is no smile in me, no happiness in anything, I can’t stand the pain, I can’t, I can’t


I was so strong, an in just a matter of months you took my independence away, now your all I think, all I breathe


I cannot focus, I cannot do anything, I cannot paint or create or do this silly by law thing, I can’t feel anything


I lose all hope like this drug is not working, but the drug traveling in my veins is you, it’s always about you, it’s you


Sitting on the floor in the dark, trying to withdraw I pull away and your unfazed, its killing me, this is killing me


Why can’t I be like you, why do I need you, are you really this damn good I don’t want to fight I am so tired


We were not fighting were we?


It was me, I was fighting this foreign feeling taking over me, and you’re always there, to pick me up and hold me


You’re the hero I have always dreamed of, your unfazed by my panic and screams to be free, you wait till I fall and


You pick me up again, and you tell me the same things you just said, you’re teaching me, I think you’re teaching me


About this word called love, you pick me up when I am so tired of fighting but I was fighting myself, you control it


Everything I don’t see and you hold me


I am going to have to admit this one day to myself, but I am afraid, will it hurt me to say, I will wait, I will wait


You already know, you’re always so perfectly strong, I am a mess, I don’t even know who I am, without you


You talk to me with so much matter of fact, and you’re always right, and you’re always right, you never left it’s me


I am running and running and running in circles I fall down dizzy and your right there to pick me up and hold me


You kiss the pain and make it easier to hold up my head, but I just lay in your lap and I take in all of you, your mine


You said this, you say this, you mean it, and you know I don’t belong to me, I belong to you, I belong to you
I am so sorry for being fucked up
Lori