Forgive me

I push everybody away
I don't need them
I don't want them
My self is enough
I don't need to live
I don't want to live

Holding the pills in my hands these are what I think as my eyes fills with tears
First filling the sink with tears
The the floor
I'm drowning in tears
Can't breath
Can't think
Can't stop
I'm suffocating
I'm dying
There is no going back
This is it
The end


Everything goes black

I hear something
Beeps
Lots of them
I panic
I didn't die
Not yet at least
I'm laying in a bed with tubes in my arms
An oxygen tank thing up my nose
I see her
The nurse
She calls my name
My eyes close


I wake up later that night crying
So confused
Pissed
And sorry
I call for my mom
All I can say is forgive me
I tell that to everybody who came and saw me
I feel so stupid now that I have done the unthinkable
Killing your self is not the answer
Now I'm going to church
I'm healthy
No drugs
I'm not cussing as much
And I'm not afraid to love anymore

They forgave me
I started over