Wishing for Something Stronger than Painkillers

I'm searching for something to take the pain away.
This pain I feel right here.
It isn't natural, doctor, don't tell me I'm going to be okay.
Because I'm not.
Come on, doc. You took a vial of my blood and had me pee in a cup, for what?
That doesn't tell you I'm sane.
Because I know I'm not.
Just look at me, I'm not pretty, I'm not skinny, so I might as well be insane.
I have nothing left to turn to.
I need something stronger than pain killers.
Stronger than this medicine you've put me on.
I'm searching for something to take the pain away.

I'm looking for someone to take this knife out of my back.
That knife I feel right there.
It's been sitting there awhile, how have you not seen it?
I know you have because you stare at it all day long
You've asked me if it hurts and I said
Well, yeah.
I want it out of my back, but I've stopped feeling it.
I want it out of my back because I'm tired of the stares
the whispers
It has to be you.
I'm too afraid to take it out myself.
I'm looking for someone to take this knife out of my back.

I'm waiting for someone to ask me what's wrong.
That pain I feel right here.
It won't go away.
I'm waiting for someone to notice, but they never will.
Just leave me to my demons
My desperations
My angels can no longer help me, they just watch and shake their heads.
Why can't everyone else see that I'm so broken?
Do I really seem that strong?
Don't ask me that after I'm dead.
Suicide won't tell you my story, it'll just quell your curiosity.
I'm waiting for someone to ask me what's wrong.

I just want the pain to stop.