deepundergroundpoetry.com
some call it crazy
Some call it crazy
Some call it bad
They think its righteous
But I am just sad
The tears flow freely
the wound is still fresh
I'm hopeless, Im needy
All feelings have left
MY friends will all leave me
Yet they say its crap
The one i want dearly
Would rather give me a slap
Some say its crazy
some say its bad
They think im poison
I am just sad
The blood flows freely
the wound is still fresh
its hopeless, no point
My life is a mess
They say i we dont need them
But i am so lonely
The voices arent real
But they feel so homey
Voices, i hear them
Some real. They're shouting.
Arguments spinning round my head
Murderous thoughts gone astray
YOU call me crazy
YOU call me mad
YOU think im stupid
YOu think im bad
But i am just lonely
I am just sad
My head has stopped working
Surely, Im not that bad
The tears will come now
to one lonely girl
The voices will begin
The blood will start to boil
SOme call it crazy
some call it bad
They say its good fun
And I KNOW I'm mad.
Some call it bad
They think its righteous
But I am just sad
The tears flow freely
the wound is still fresh
I'm hopeless, Im needy
All feelings have left
MY friends will all leave me
Yet they say its crap
The one i want dearly
Would rather give me a slap
Some say its crazy
some say its bad
They think im poison
I am just sad
The blood flows freely
the wound is still fresh
its hopeless, no point
My life is a mess
They say i we dont need them
But i am so lonely
The voices arent real
But they feel so homey
Voices, i hear them
Some real. They're shouting.
Arguments spinning round my head
Murderous thoughts gone astray
YOU call me crazy
YOU call me mad
YOU think im stupid
YOu think im bad
But i am just lonely
I am just sad
My head has stopped working
Surely, Im not that bad
The tears will come now
to one lonely girl
The voices will begin
The blood will start to boil
SOme call it crazy
some call it bad
They say its good fun
And I KNOW I'm mad.
Published 23rd Oct 2009
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23rd Oct 2009 11:44pm
First of all I must question these two stanzas:
They say i we dont need them
But i am so lonely
The voices arent real
But they feel so homey
Voices, i hear them
Some real. They're shouting.
Arguments spinning round my head
Murderous thoughts gone astray
I feel that if you are going to use a very obvious rhythm and rhyme structure then you should remain true to it, because when you reach these two, the whole thing just stops.
As I'm not a completely negative bastard (just yet) I like the content of this poem and it's honest portrayal (of who I assume is yourself) takes away from the nursery rhyme structure.
If this is a current state of being... don't you worry.
They say i we dont need them
But i am so lonely
The voices arent real
But they feel so homey
Voices, i hear them
Some real. They're shouting.
Arguments spinning round my head
Murderous thoughts gone astray
I feel that if you are going to use a very obvious rhythm and rhyme structure then you should remain true to it, because when you reach these two, the whole thing just stops.
As I'm not a completely negative bastard (just yet) I like the content of this poem and it's honest portrayal (of who I assume is yourself) takes away from the nursery rhyme structure.
If this is a current state of being... don't you worry.
4th Nov 2009 1:02pm
thankyou, yes its about me at the current time, but i welcome critique, its what makes me better :D
24th Oct 2009 3:34am
This is almost something I could have written.
'The tears flow freely
the wound is still fresh
I'm hopeless, Im needy
All feelings have left '
I love what this stanza says.
and to quote Jamie
'don't you worry'
I look forward to your next piece.
'The tears flow freely
the wound is still fresh
I'm hopeless, Im needy
All feelings have left '
I love what this stanza says.
and to quote Jamie
'don't you worry'
I look forward to your next piece.
4th Nov 2009 1:02pm
24th Oct 2009 8:52am
As I read I notice you are detailed in this story. A lot of emotion was given and perhaps a lot of truth as well about you and about how you view others. Your style is basically the same as mine, which is cool becuase most do not write like I do. Excellent story, you seem to just lay it all out on the table during this story. I like the fact it was long and not shortly ended. I see too much of that going around like a fad LOL.
4th Nov 2009 1:02pm
Anonymous
24th Oct 2009 3:50pm
moving, very much so:-)
4th Nov 2009 1:03pm
4th Nov 2009 1:50pm
The last four stanzas were amazing...Somehow they had a strong effect on me...
"YOU call me crazy
YOU call me mad
YOU think im stupid
YOU think im bad"
I love the anger in these lines..
Its about you and the pain can be felt...Hope whatever it is gets better soon:)
5th Nov 2009 11:17am
