Could your suicide been prevented?

As I look at my reflection in  
the mirror, I remember when you  
took your own life. I wonder if
my failure to realize the mortal
danger you were in made me just
as responsible. Could I have done
something to stop your suicide.
Did I fail you? If your Mom found
out how much I actually knew of your
deadly intentions would she want me  
dead? Would I be better off in a six
foot hole, a body rotting, just a
head stone and a name? At the time
of my judgment if God asks me how
could I let one of his children
commit suicide, What would I say?
"I didn't realize the threat."?
The very idea seems ridiculous.
Sometimes I think about finding  
your mom and giving her a chance
to either forgive me or act on
a possible impulse of vengeance.
Although when I wake up from the
reoccurring nightmares of that day,
I know better. Believe me I know
better.