deepundergroundpoetry.com
the astronauts report it feels good
he was our hero, he
vowed allegiance to outermost
edges, he knapped flint in fork-
ed tongue forever, but forgot
how the climate there defies
standard applying of temperature
before the demons are named
and saved in the angelic
that shames mans inspiration
there is that which hasn't happened
yet
less than death, more than life
not entropy, stagnancy, kinetic energy
higher than ascended transcendence
lower than primordial chaotic stew
he was our antagonist, he
mistook isolation of self service
for some sort of importance, he
stowed away on a simple knot
thinking he tricked the fabric
vowed allegiance to outermost
edges, he knapped flint in fork-
ed tongue forever, but forgot
how the climate there defies
standard applying of temperature
before the demons are named
and saved in the angelic
that shames mans inspiration
there is that which hasn't happened
yet
less than death, more than life
not entropy, stagnancy, kinetic energy
higher than ascended transcendence
lower than primordial chaotic stew
he was our antagonist, he
mistook isolation of self service
for some sort of importance, he
stowed away on a simple knot
thinking he tricked the fabric
Published 13th Jun 2014
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likes 9
reading list entries 1
comments 10
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The author encourages honest critique.
13th Jun 2014 3:12pm
….off my tits, and that last stanza felt goooooood.
loved it and saying so :-)
hh.
loved it and saying so :-)
hh.
13th Jun 2014 3:41pm
F'n a... Hoping you feel the same when your tits come back
Love that ya said it, thanks man
Love that ya said it, thanks man
First I was impressed with your loose alliteration and playful word play, but then I remembered that it was also a poem that had a meaning and not get lost in the words that make the whole piece.
The first two stanzas really set up the last two stanzas well. Most of the poem invokes images of the character going beyond the reaches of space before being brought back to reality. I'm not qoing to quote the whole last stanza, though it impressed me as well.
For me at least it drew parallels to everything from the entertainment industry to new age mysticism
Then I started singing "ground control to major tom"
The first two stanzas really set up the last two stanzas well. Most of the poem invokes images of the character going beyond the reaches of space before being brought back to reality. I'm not qoing to quote the whole last stanza, though it impressed me as well.
For me at least it drew parallels to everything from the entertainment industry to new age mysticism
Then I started singing "ground control to major tom"
14th Jun 2014 1:38am
Mr. M Bass, that was certainly one of my favorite comments ever
what you pointed towards, was spot on
what you left ambiguous, or "sensed"-(ish), twice as on
Invoking Bowie is never a bad thing. Never.
Very many thanks
what you pointed towards, was spot on
what you left ambiguous, or "sensed"-(ish), twice as on
Invoking Bowie is never a bad thing. Never.
Very many thanks
Anonymous
14th Jun 2014 5:05pm
the last stanza has me reeling in some starry place and the soft alliteration in this is clever and slight and I am deeply imbedded in the gaps between stanzas and layers of meaning. I'll have to come back again for this, thanks.
16th Jun 2014 6:34pm
the starry places and stanza set space more than appreciate your recognition, enough to put it into the justification bin
thank you. Any thoughts welcome. Any time
thank you. Any thoughts welcome. Any time
15th Jul 2014 7:50am
20th Oct 2014 10:25am
25th Aug 2014 3:07pm
20th Oct 2014 10:26am
