Sacramental

The pious in this poem are almost like zombies. The poem's a little too vague in its setting and characters, but its atmosphere is very strong. The first verse is wonderful in its building of a semantic field of horror and sickness. The second line of verse two, meanwhile, is delightfully nasty, as are the phrases "torn verdure" and "anointed bones". This is a nasty poem, and I mean that as a sincere compliment.

Librarian, thank you for your delightful feedback! The words just seemed to lock, like a smooth-edged jigsaw. I have a weakness for abstract, I know, but I like readers to interpret things their own way.

Hahaha, darky dark! Love it, thanks, Gabe!

just great Atakti:
"bow our heads and prey"!!!!
a religion without morality is mortality without reason

Trust whale to spot the pun...  ;)

Thank you!

I'm with the racist librarian, first stanza 'cluding the cool word play in line one is particularly great.

I s'pose there is a level of vagueness but I think the subject allows for it. that's to say there's a general awareness 'bout the goings on so it's easy enough to put thoughts to picture

this is a grand offering missus, fair play

keep shinin'

Thanking you kindly, Craic.

I have spotted at least three ways to interpret this, all damn dark. I scared myself with this. Where it came from, I have no idea.

Left me with a question mark in my mind but still enjoyed reading this ink...make sense???

I'm pleased you liked it. Thank you for spending time with my ink.

makes me think of wolves, or birds of prey hunting for flesh....

Here come the wolves again... Poetry wolves are more worrying than real wolves!

Thanks Mourganna.

loads of ways to read ad interpret this, as you know you have a talent for that. This is another great one.. :-) nice work

Aww, thanks, miki, too kind!

Ooohhh the darkness, oh the heave tone!
I must say you took me on unnerving ride
BUT I loved it! lol

Unnerving, yes. Couldn't help myself.

Thank you, Poetik!

i like pictures that don't show you everything.....

well done MRS A

Me too, jr!

Thank you.

:)

. . .as leading the innocent (lambs) to slaughter...

My Friend,

Your pen has sketched such a darkly vivid scene...my mind is filled with thoughts of an insidious twist to what is more commonly practiced as a sacred ritual (line 4)---crossing that fine grey line into the [UN]holy of the holiness...of this foul feeding frenzy.

It is a pleasure to be drawn into the sinister depths of this piece!

Is that what evil is? The urge to destroy innocence? Hmm, Enchantress, your comments always make me think...

Yes, I toyed with words normally reserved for holy rituals. I guess I wanted to shake things up a bit.

Thank you! Reading your comments always adds an extra layer to the ink, and for that, your feedback is diamond fire.

Forgive me Sister for I have sinned... [you're making me feel culpable for losing my way].
 
This has nothing to do with religion, unless worshipping the moon and shapeshifting is sacramental enough when it comes to devouring the body and blood of your victims, human sacrifices... you think of some dark stuff at church.  
 
"Savage rhythms bless torn verdure —  
anointed bones on which we feed...." Mouth watering stuff!!!

Defining religion on my poem comments? *grin*

Or was it defining sin? Oooh, that could keep a few religious leaders busy, but not poets.

Thanks for the blood-devouring comments, you savage Case.

my vote is cannibalism, a feast enjoyed w/those pagan 'savage rhythms,' & Hannibal Lecter as your high priest...

Is this where he says, "eat of YOUR body"?

It gets tricky after that...

Thanks, Feddeler!

lambs to the steak house :)

good read Atakti

Ha, thanks Carpe!

:)

Sometimes a piece I come across has me taken aback and I have nothing of value to say.  I would just like to add that you choose your words with an almost surgical precision, but aren't afraid to play with them a little to get the most out of them. So very commendable, and this this case more than a little twisted. I very much enjoyed it.

Thank you kindly, Indigo! I don't know about surgical precision, I never noticed... You may be right! Occasionally my memory fails me and I have the concept in mind but forget the word — then I try several options before something clicks.

Twisted! Yes, this one was, hehe...

I love the savage nature of this piece, great write.

A savage mood it was, truly.

Thanks, Ultra! Welcome back to DU.

thanks Atakti, I am most definitely a fan of your stuff.