deepundergroundpoetry.com
Shadow of the sun
Shadow of the sun
Stricken with darkness
Plight with serpentine teeth has become the curse of me, burn like embers in my night
Pectus excavatum, hollowed chest
Chasm that grow eternally
Swallowing up soft light from apollos horizon
Across the fields are broken refactions, desert sky is now ripped open
Jakob enters the valley of my temple
Spirit wrestling with the angel
Upon the witching hour
Winds howls like wolves
Twisting, turning lighting crashes
Shadows of the fallen watching
Celestials of the one hundred and forty four thousand witnessing
Leaving behind streaks of smoke clouds from a sky that's been scorched
Caught in between who I am and who I wanna be
At this point it's a constant battle
Striving to survive, freeing my soul from out of exile
Breaking thru where I'm at now into where I long to be
Stars from the sign I'm bourne burns
A sure sign of something new to come
Replacing my old yellow eyes of diminished hope
Breaking dawn slowly makes her way into whats now a quiet sky
Woke up feeling...
Couldn't see this morning...
Though my eyes are open
Woke up feeling...
Couldn't see this morning...
Yet wide awake
Woke up feeling...
Couldn't see this morning...
Venturing thru the continuing mist
Embracing what could be my fate
Is all that i can do
Uncertainly up against my will
Deep inside myself I pray
For some reason I got the butterflies
-ADuarte
Stricken with darkness
Plight with serpentine teeth has become the curse of me, burn like embers in my night
Pectus excavatum, hollowed chest
Chasm that grow eternally
Swallowing up soft light from apollos horizon
Across the fields are broken refactions, desert sky is now ripped open
Jakob enters the valley of my temple
Spirit wrestling with the angel
Upon the witching hour
Winds howls like wolves
Twisting, turning lighting crashes
Shadows of the fallen watching
Celestials of the one hundred and forty four thousand witnessing
Leaving behind streaks of smoke clouds from a sky that's been scorched
Caught in between who I am and who I wanna be
At this point it's a constant battle
Striving to survive, freeing my soul from out of exile
Breaking thru where I'm at now into where I long to be
Stars from the sign I'm bourne burns
A sure sign of something new to come
Replacing my old yellow eyes of diminished hope
Breaking dawn slowly makes her way into whats now a quiet sky
Woke up feeling...
Couldn't see this morning...
Though my eyes are open
Woke up feeling...
Couldn't see this morning...
Yet wide awake
Woke up feeling...
Couldn't see this morning...
Venturing thru the continuing mist
Embracing what could be my fate
Is all that i can do
Uncertainly up against my will
Deep inside myself I pray
For some reason I got the butterflies
-ADuarte
Published 5th Jun 2014
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The author encourages honest critique.
5th Jun 2014 2:50pm
In my list for the first three stanzas! Beautiful.
After that, the language changed, like a new poem was started. I suggest having another look at that break in flow.
Thank you.
After that, the language changed, like a new poem was started. I suggest having another look at that break in flow.
Thank you.
9th Jun 2014 00:55am
Thank u Tristique but I was struggling with it n wanted to post so bad tht i didn't really read it through properly a mix of emotions and was trying to let it out not taking the time to sort thru my soul. But I have revised it
6th Jun 2014 5:57am
Hmmm very interesting, i don't know if the picture threw me off or gave it a completely different element. Its very complex & yes spiritual being~
"Caught in between who I am and who I wanna be
At this point it's a constant battle
Striving to survive, freeing my soul from out of exile
Breaking thru where I'm at now into where I long to be" Definitely relate, it's a daily thing!!!
I love those lines before the last stanza it leaves many possibilities of the emotions, that stanza was great too!=D
Perfect title also!
"Caught in between who I am and who I wanna be
At this point it's a constant battle
Striving to survive, freeing my soul from out of exile
Breaking thru where I'm at now into where I long to be" Definitely relate, it's a daily thing!!!
I love those lines before the last stanza it leaves many possibilities of the emotions, that stanza was great too!=D
Perfect title also!
9th Jun 2014 00:58am
Thank u DivinityHoneyComb. But i wasn't ready to post n wanted to cause i seen the potential I'd has yes i was weary of it from the get go. But it's been revised now n has a smooth flow not sporadic
