From Him to Him

I yearn to write again but I’m not worthy of the scratch the pen makes on the paper.
The only thing I wonder is if I had stayed around, would you have ran to her?
Maybe I’m a coward but oh a coward I’ll be
I’m so much happier but you’ll never see
Maybe that’s all for the best, you never were real
You might not have been but real were the things you made me feel
I can try all I want to pour my heart out into these meaningless letters
But when it comes down to it, all that matters is I’m so much better
I’m happy, that’s all that matters these days
But there was a time when you were my sunrays
Which is sad because looking back, you were actually my cloud
But could that also mean you were my thunder?
I’ll never know because I finally took cover
You were my storm and I would have been swept away had I stayed out
Not in the good way people talk about either, no not in the way they talk about
In the way that I would have died, you would have killed me
I saved myself, yes I did, now I’m finally happy
I have felt myself letting you go little by little year by year
And now I can feel myself letting that last percentage of you go right here
Right now, I feel you leaking out of me, finally the rest of you
You’ve inhabited my body for years, now I know what to do
This is me finally saying goodbye, I never thought I’d get the courage
But I’m moving onto bigger and better things, starting a new page
I thought I’d been on a new page all along
But really I’d just been scribbling in the crevices of the same one
Finally a new chapter, oh that sounds so cliché
But do I care? Oh no not at all, cliché I’ll be
You were a thorn in my side, I’m finally happy as a clam
You never taught me I could be this happy, oh but he can
He can and he will and he did and he will continue to do so
Goodbye, old lover, you taught me a lot
He’ll teach me more, what you never taught
Things happen for a reason, cliché I’ll be again
And cliché I’ll continue to be with him