Dear Soul,

Dear Soul,

Please forgive me. I thought I changed but I'm still desperate for romantic security...
Still trying to replace it with insecurity.

Please be patient with me, my precious soul.
Oh please don't give up on me
I'm still broken, can't you see?

I thought I could fix the broken pieces by getting rid of them..
I thought they'd magically go away.
But one by one, they find their way back and forth,never seeming to stay.

That's why guys come and go as they please because you see,
what was once whole inside of me,
has been destroyed into a huge hole inside of me..

Due to me allowing strangers to enter inside of me,
digging deep into my soul, rapidly beating back and forth,
in and out of me.. rapidly beating the same pace as my heart beat.

My soul felt so sorry for me,
sick of these strangers keeping me empty.
Sick of being the host of lonely.

My soul yearned to feel consistency
so it would finally have a home to rest peacefully.

One day I woke up to the shock of a strange heart beat,
that filled my chest & my stomach.

This strange heart beat would need me and never leave me.
My soul felt one with this heart beat
because for once, it would have 9 months of comfort and consistency..
There was now a stranger growing inside of me.

I no longer wanted to be who I was
because I no longer knew any part of me.
I'd give anything just to leave my mind & escape from my body.

At this point, negativity only existed within me
I couldn't be at peace, allowing this seed
to be cultivated by hate and negativity.

As bad as it hurt,I had to stop this seed from growing,
I had to set it free.
I painfully lost what was growing inside of me
but somehow my soul found its way back home, strangely.