deepundergroundpoetry.com
CRAVING
After all it is just a crush (she thinks) or .... is it lust?
As she drift into the velvet of the night... she wants him so bad, she wants him below her.. inside her... consuming all her desires.
craving for his kisses that nourish her soul...
his touch... that makes her chamber warm and flutters fragile as a butterfly...
his electrical sparking eyes that ignite her blood to flow
Her body aching for his like a swarm of worms attacking a corpse
she knows it dangerous... for this sensual hunger... craving for moment under the stars....
As she drift into the velvet of the night... she wants him so bad, she wants him below her.. inside her... consuming all her desires.
craving for his kisses that nourish her soul...
his touch... that makes her chamber warm and flutters fragile as a butterfly...
his electrical sparking eyes that ignite her blood to flow
Her body aching for his like a swarm of worms attacking a corpse
she knows it dangerous... for this sensual hunger... craving for moment under the stars....
Published 22nd May 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 1201
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
22nd May 2014 12:19pm
I like the opening crush vs. lust, but it goes a little too simple at the end of the first stanza (ie ...consuming her desires). Was hoping for something of more imagery.
The mixed metaphors I find confusing rather than inspiring. Things like "swarm of worms attacking a corpse" are interesting images, but for me it doesn't really fit.
Looking forward to reading more. Cheers.
The mixed metaphors I find confusing rather than inspiring. Things like "swarm of worms attacking a corpse" are interesting images, but for me it doesn't really fit.
Looking forward to reading more. Cheers.
Anonymous
22nd May 2014 4:15pm
It is my experience that one knows lust from a crush...you never forget lust! Pr
