137 Steps To Sobriety

 137 steps.
I climbed up
Moving towards the bright banner
With the words "Sober"
Flashing in bright lights

137 steps.
Each time proving to the few left who care
That this time is the last time

137 steps.
Of saying no
To each tempting offer
Don't you dare say that it is a choice

137 steps.
That I struggled with
Each day
As I started the day with a war commencing in my mind
My body rejecting everything I put into it
Including love
There was nothing I craved more
The glass was empty
Nothing left to put into it
Nothing more to do
No will to live,
Nothing

137 steps.
Each time ignoring as my body screams
"give in!"
Ignoring the cloudy vision
Or the times my brain says "just one more"

137 steps.
The number of steps I fell down
When I collapsed and took the pills
My head smashing into the ground
Blood pooling on the ground
Clutching the bottle of pills like a life raft
Hoping it will keep me afloat
When all along
I was clutching an anchor, dragging me back to the bottom

137 steps.
Now theres nothing left