dont wanna be afraid

 

How screwed up do you have to be...  
How done do you have to be to let your depression control you
…
To lose your grip enough to find anything that will alleviate
the pain.. anything.. no matter what..

Relapse.. the one thing I didn't want and now I'm hiding again..
I don't know what to do.. I don't want to do this anymore
… I didn't in the first place... Why am I doing this again..


Why did I do it in the first place.. Why am I stupid enough
to think that pain and scars are a viable solution to everything
thats going on
all my stress and insecurities only worsen..
Why... why... why..? can someone please tell me  
Why I keep coming back to the same place..
I cant keep doing this to myself.. I dont wanna be
afraid anymore... its not worth it...

I dont want to be afraid anymore!
I dont want to be afraid anymore!
I dont want to be afraid anymore!
I dont want to be afraid anymore!
I dont want to be afraid anymore...