Dear David Part 2

Dear David

It’s like I please you anymore, even if I did it would
Only a moment or two .Like that if didn't mean
Shit you that were on the bottom of your shoe. That
You walked all over me like if I am nothing there or rug
For you to wipe your dirty shoes on. I provided everything
For you to your clothes, food, games, controllers,
Everything else I have brought for you. What else you
Want from me. I try to make your life better as much
I could so you have something in your life. Instead
Of life me I barely had anything to my name that I
Could my own. It was impossible because mostly
Gave it to someone else that needs it more than I do.
That’s how I live and how I has raised to help people as
Much you can even though most people say or don’t
Want your help because they trying to be independent
For this world. That I did with you to be there you when
Need someone or something parentally I was wrong to help,
To love, to care, to look out for you. Or you think you are
Entitle everything I had that I didn't give you enough in the
World. Or you told me that I am taking your manhood away
Because how I was doing everything in our relationship. I
Am sorry that I didn’t know how to explain or express myself
To anyone anymore.
'
Right now since you wanted to just to be friends and that
It would a lot better for us. I disagree. I can’t ague because
It’s done is done that I can’t change your mind or the time its
The past now. Like all those memories meant nothing to you
And they have begun to fade. That all the memories we have
Made is nothing now that they were once alive. Now they
Are just crushed dreams that turn into a nightmare that I
Can’t never wake from that’s almost every day of my life.
All my hopes and dreams has been stripped away from my
Soul. All the love I had for you was washed away like the
Blood was pumping my heart has stopped to watch the
Blood fall. Like the passion has died inside of me that
There’s nothing left for me to give. Everything I knew
And known has ripped and turned from the happiness
I once enjoyed that you have now. Now I am sitting here
In the cold darkness with a broken heart trying to pick
All the pieces that you broke. It’s very hard for me to trust,
Love, look, open up, to you as a friend then as a lover now
Since you and me are no long in a relationship. Its kills me
Inside that can’t do nothing about it that you are a lot happier
Since I have disappeared from your life. That you have a smile
On your face lets me know I didn't do my job as a girlfriend
That I once was that title has been taken away for me so
By so many different people you were the last one I
Would have thought of that you would take it too.
I am so disappointed in myself for allow to
Open up again to just all over again and again
When am I going to learn to not to wear my
Heart on my sleeve anymore but so hard to
Not to because you want to show you care,
Love, and all the things that comes with a
Relationship. Instead of, being a heartless
Bitch that doesn't feel anything that is great
In your life. I have tried that to be heartless
For many years to be not attach to someone
Because I knew this will happen every time
I talk, love, care, and have feelings for someone.
It always end the same over and over again
I am always searching for all the pieces of my
Heart and soul mate. So that person doesn't
Fuck me over. So I don’t know if I could love again
Someone like I could when I had you in my arms
For so long. I will just disappear like the ghost
I am to most people the only time people see
Me is when they need something from me or
Simply to bitch for something I did or didn’t do.
Like I say I always wrong it’s always my fault
I never win at the game of life.

I always blame myself for the flaws in my life
I know I am not perfect. The last time I check
I was a human that was born to make mistakes,
To have feeling, bleed, and so much more then
Ball up all my motions to throw them out the door
Or be a mindless robot. I couldn’t that to myself again
It was fun to be that way towards people.

Thank you for opening my eyes that I was
Fooling myself that you and I could work
Out all our problems. Instead of where
We are now, to be in total darkness in this world
That we can’t be together. That I should keep
Everyone away for my heart to allow no one in.
I loved you with all my heart my question is
Why did you throw it all away because of arguments?
You and I got it to each other. That why I kept
Bottling me for you and me wouldn't be this way.
Looks like I am always the one suffer for all the pain
That has been caused between us. The one crying
She to sleep so can numb the pain that will never
Go away because I can’t tell you without getting angry
At I for what I said or I did didn’t want to listen to
People when they were saying "He is a kid that you
Shouldn’t be with him He's putting you down." I didn't
Because I saw something else that no one could see
That you just needed a chance to prove yourself.
That what I saw in you.

When you were calling me names, which you don’t
Need I anymore or that no one loves me.
That hurt because its seems like that was true
For many years and its still is happening
So I don’t need it anymore I am fucking done
To be walk upon by everyone that’s has.

Good-bye David even it breaks my heart to say it

                                               
                                   Felicia