Still a fuck up

You say whut i say whut.
yall know me,larry and i'm still a fuck up.
alot has changed since tha last fuck up.
this time around i ain't got a wife and all i've had is bad luck.
now that i'm gettin' older i notice shit's gettin' harder.
sometimes i sit back and wonder,life why should i even bother.
with it,everything i come into contact wit.
turns to shit.
now as i'm in this pit.
my life i've made for myself i just look at it and spit.
life i just don't understand it can't get a grasp of it.
all this madness i want out of it.
my so called life i wanna take it.
but i know i can't do that shit.
cause then god wouldn't forgive me for that shit.
i'd be tossed into the lake of fire for sure no doubt about it.
so i just gotta try to make somethin' outta nuthin'.
ain't nuthin' goin' on but fuckin'.
yea fuckin' up my world,my life.
screamin' up at the heavens above wit all my might.
i'm still a fuck up.
still still still.
i'm still a fuck up.

No wife,no job,no money.
all that equals no life and this shit is far from funny.
i know i took alot of things for granted.
my family,my friends,my life,doin' wrong for so long has left me stranded.
i sometimes think what is my purpose on this earth.
where i stand right now,right here.
was it suppose to happen,my birth.
was it intended for me to be alive breathin' here.
only god knows the answers to all those questions.
that's all life really is just a bunch of damn questions.
i have yet to receive any answers.
i just look at mother earth thinkin' will anything ever change her.
people sayin' i should write about things that are positive,i can't write about positive.
cause i don't see that shit where i live.
i see no jobs available i see homelessness i see higher crime rate.
no love for fellow man just hate.
that shit contributes to my fucked up attitude.
so there's not a mutha fuckin' thing you or i can do.
i'm still a fuck up.
still still still.
i'm still a fuck up.

Now time is winding down for me to find another place to live.
i can't look to family or friends they ain't got shit to give.
i'd rather live in a shotgun shack with the roaches and rats.
then to be homeless and have all my clothes in a back pack.
for the record i'd rather be dead.
with a bullet to the head.
then for me to live on the skidz nuff said.
damn, i'm just so fuckin' tired of livin' the way i am.
i think "god,when i come before you will i be damned?
i am spiritual i believe in god and the holy bible.
but in this world,my life will i survive,will i be able.
between heaven and hell is where my soul resides.
god,please let things get better i don't wanna commit suicide.
really though i'm not the least worried if i die tonite.
when the reaper comes callin' death i ain't gonna try to fight.
i know i'm still a fuck up.
still still still.
i'm still a fuck up.