Hope's in despair

Quote: "everything that kills me makes me feel alive"
Counting stars-one republic
Written for competition "inspiration"
 
 
 
I can't sleep
Because I can't stop thinking of you
Just like every single night.
 
The thought of you lingers here
And haunts my dreams
It won't leave my mind.
 
Why do I torture myself
If I already know you'll never
Ever be here by my side.
 
It's a pain how my heart
Sends this message to my head
Every time I lay in bed.
 
A teardrop falls down my cheek
As I slowly realize this might never change
This love won't ever fade.
 
Although I know it's not meant to be
And things won't go back to how it was,
My feelings for you will forever last.
 
I might as well die of love
Or regret for not being strong enough
But this is now my drug.
 
Could I ever be saved  
From this addiction that kills
And makes me feel alive?
 
You've hurt me
Oh! So much and yet
I still want you here.
 
It's like you're the sole reason
That I'm even alive,
This love I'll cherish till I die.
 
I remember when you said
You didn't care about the money,
That you would rather count stars with me.
 
Where did that talk go
As you saw me drown
In the depths of this sorrow?
 
Should I let you kill me
And have this love die
Or should I spread my wings fly?
 
You gave the hope I needed
To get up on my feet and fight
And to enjoy every single sight.
 
So now I'll let everything burn
As the stars we count
And forget the lessons I've learned.
 
I've lost my sleep
So many nights
Thinking of you and me.
 
And now I'll go out
And find my will
Against what makes us weak.
 
We are the young
Future to be hold
So let's be bold.
 
I will find another way
To feel so alive
Without wanting to die.