deepundergroundpoetry.com
Murder mysteries end too soon
The bodies are tallied up
The fingerprints checked
Lifted off the dirty cup,
While Police swarm the honertrap place
The Detective alone and aloof
Victims wearing a death-mask face
And the muderer is 'cuffed and carted off
To some grim befitting place off screen
The Detective utters a solitary cough,
But what about those left?
Friends, family, bystanders
Emotions of anger, shock, bereft
And what of the fate of the killer
What of their final judgement
What of the unyeilding moral pillar
The killers thoughts and feelings
...Only wordless montage filler.
The fingerprints checked
Lifted off the dirty cup,
While Police swarm the honertrap place
The Detective alone and aloof
Victims wearing a death-mask face
And the muderer is 'cuffed and carted off
To some grim befitting place off screen
The Detective utters a solitary cough,
But what about those left?
Friends, family, bystanders
Emotions of anger, shock, bereft
And what of the fate of the killer
What of their final judgement
What of the unyeilding moral pillar
The killers thoughts and feelings
...Only wordless montage filler.
Published 15th Mar 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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15th Mar 2011 00:15am
Yet another poem that is based on one by Jack; http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/15773/, his 'mystery novel poems end too soon'. Maybe I should just label Jack as an agent of the Muse?
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Mar 2011 1:51am
15th Mar 2011 1:50am
I like this poem. Your re-writes of my work are always very interesting. I like how you also questioned the fate of the killer. I missed that myself. They usually die or go to prison of course. Either way, they wouldn't have to face the ramifications of their actions while trying to conduct a normal life out in the real world. But yeah, what is going on inside their heads? We know what they did was for money or revenge or sometimes a bit of Freudian psychobabble, but what of their actual thought processes?
I also like the "solitary cough" line. That was clever.
I also like the "solitary cough" line. That was clever.
15th Mar 2011 11:45pm
I feel that the killers' story is told through someone elses eyes, eyes that reduce their story to a single reductivist logical reason. The solitary cough line was actually an attempt to show the detective as solitary; apart from the police and victims, but came out different and better. Seems I went against my word and didn't ask for your permission this time.
Anonymous
16th Mar 2011 1:21am
That's okay. It's a good poem, and one doesn't need permission to write good poetry. I guessed that that was what you meant by the solitary cough line.
15th Mar 2011 6:50am
15th Mar 2011 11:47pm
I will bear that in mind and try not to disappoint with the next one when it comes.
