Mad

Mad as a hatter
Nowhere to go
The sadness lasts longer than before.
I tap tap tap the night away
Running my dirty little hands over the keys, the strings,
Over anything that will have me…

I dream of wet city streets,
shadows,
moving silently along
Catching reflections as I walk
smoking things over.
Trying to amount to something
Beyond the sum of my broken parts.

I dream of riding the EL
To see someone warm…
To be welcomed somewhere,
if only for a little while.
Nothing continues as it is,
Change ruins everything…

The city spat me out.
I had no reason to stay.
Now, 10 years gone,
I know there is nothing to go back to.
I linger in my cloud,
wondering if the water will be cold.