guided by your thought

what are you to do..
what are you to think..
it hits you hard..
when reality awakes..
your judgment scorn..
your thoughts a-miss..
what is right..
and what is wrong..
who's to say..
and who's to blame..
my mind now screwed..
reality a nightmare..
oh why can't i awake..
were my choices wrong..
my goals out of reach..
oh why must i think..
your all that i wanted..
all i could need..
i think of you..
i think of me..
i search for more..
as i'm truly in need..
nothing to hold on to..
no one so dear..
in this world tonight..
for as i lay here awake..
everything that i seek..
so close..
yet far from reach..
simply blowing by..
as this draft pushes..
everything away..
ever further from me..
as if it were nothing more..
than early mornings dew..
evaporating at first light..
never the less..
never the more..
it's still going..
going gone..
saddening i say..
for my guard now dropped..
as i lay here exposed..
grief stricken..
and in this state..
this state of want..
empowered by fear..
driven by escape..
i grasp for a reality..
to claim as mine..
a rose is what i want..
pure at heart..
drawing caution from me..
of thorns a-miss..
for i don't want to feel pain..
nor offer you hurt..
you're a hidden beauty..
to a person such as i..
oh lord..
a rose i wish i had..

twisted by intimacy.......my thoughts run freely..... simply guided by your thought.......