deepundergroundpoetry.com
For the Birds
"There's more hurt to come" as he looked straight ahead from the park bench
the birds swooping for bread.
"Yeah it's a bitch right now" as I kept an eye on their playground
antics
"Hold the line and keep it together"
"All will be well in time" as he threw more bread to the gathering congregation
"I will, for us I will, you got my back covered I got yours"As I returned their wave.
"I love you" as he looked at the birds his hand brushing mine before getting up and leaving without looking back.
"I love you too it won't be long" but the words got stuck as I struggled to hold
back the tears.
the birds swooping for bread.
"Yeah it's a bitch right now" as I kept an eye on their playground
antics
"Hold the line and keep it together"
"All will be well in time" as he threw more bread to the gathering congregation
"I will, for us I will, you got my back covered I got yours"As I returned their wave.
"I love you" as he looked at the birds his hand brushing mine before getting up and leaving without looking back.
"I love you too it won't be long" but the words got stuck as I struggled to hold
back the tears.
Published 19th Feb 2014
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19th Feb 2014 9:47am
Lovely scribe: I read this two ways: she's speaking with the spirit of the man she loves - who judging from the dialect is off at war. They both need to "hold the line" until they're reunited ...
... the other interpretation was two lovers who need to reconcile issues in their "known" lives (separation - divorce) before they can start a new life together in a new season.
... the other interpretation was two lovers who need to reconcile issues in their "known" lives (separation - divorce) before they can start a new life together in a new season.
19th Feb 2014 10:29am
the two voices work v.well - yep the story it holds around two people who wish they could be together knowing that they can't is great - all they can offer are scraps
19th Feb 2014 11:36am
19th Feb 2014 11:37am
19th Feb 2014 11:37am
Both worthy interpretations and this is how it should be
the reader making his own assumptions
obviously I have my own thinking on it but will not ripple the waters of your beautiful thoughts
thankyou for lovely commenting xD
the reader making his own assumptions
obviously I have my own thinking on it but will not ripple the waters of your beautiful thoughts
thankyou for lovely commenting xD
19th Feb 2014 1:30pm
Wow. Written so well. Really described separation in a great setting.
19th Feb 2014 1:54pm
its good to see other peoples take on the scribe
thank you 117 for lovely commenting :)
thank you 117 for lovely commenting :)
20th Feb 2014 2:32am
Rose, this is an excellent conversational piece. I read it as two lovers or potential lovers waiting for the time when they can be together out in the open. This is a compelling movie script-like piece.
20th Feb 2014 7:13am
