Prayer: The First in Forever

Prayer: The First in Forever

God give me the strength
to look ahead, to move
to no longer hurt
to filter myself
keeping clean yet covered in sewage.

Look I know I've faltered
but if you really loved
be divine and forgive
is it blasphemous
for an agnostic to pray.

Selfishness overwhelms me
I just want the pain to end
I want to get up and not fall
when picnicking in spring
I want my smile to be real.

God give me strength
if you actually are there
answer this one
for me please
don’t hurt me anymore.