The Brown-Eyed Beast

What can stop me from making the same mistake twice. I think about it but nothing will ever change. I'm never good enough. I never will be. I destroy situations in which I only long to help. I'm a monster, a beast made only for ruination. I can long for love but it will never come. It is only a thing of my dreams, of my imagination. There is no end for the torture of a creature like me. Maybe the pain is all I will ever deserve. Perhaps a dismal end will only come of what plagues me. I race through my mind to find something to praise myself for but nothing comes of it. I will end this life just as I began, alone.