LOSS OF ME

Loss

I have never felt this way before,
Completely and utterly empty,
I feel like my heart has been torn to shreds,
Leaving nothing but broken shards just like a hurricane does,

This pain, is a pain that has been torturing me,
It has been taking over my body for the past few years,
Slowly stripping the life out of me,
Leaving nothing but a dark empty shell,

I never imagined it could hurt so much to have someone hate me like this,
Especially since I don't even know you,
I am not a role model for anyone,
And it rips me apart to know I am just what I've always been told,
nothing no good, waste of space.

I know there's a better place, way up high in the arms of love, a cloud floating bye just waiting for my final jump
But something inside me stops the wish for me to be gone,
It tears me apart knowing the legacy I would leave behind for my beautiful children so
Not wanting them to see their MOM dead
I saw a dead body for the first time,
a few years ago, its never left me.
My dad and my mom, so peacefully sleeping.
Their Pain has gone at last.
Tears are continuously pouring down like rain,
Staining my face with sorrow,
I am repeatedly mechanically wiping them away,
But when will my gloomy days come to an end?

I just wish I could have loved someone just once, and had it returned
See beautiful and welcoming smile of the man I loved,
Listening to wonderful and comforting words,
That would light a flame in my heart every time,

I'm sad to say that will never be,
But I know I have love in me.
I know you'll look at me and think what a pathetic soul, but the words I long for are
SLEEP in peace my beloved, I am here,