i dont know what i need

We were in love yes
And not just because of sex
I mean she really was the best
But the love part brought some stress.
We started off so happy.
Smiles, kisses, and laughter.
But what I should've known was the things that occurred after.
She screams.
I yell.
I tell her..what the hell!
She says just leave!
Then..
No don't go!
I tell her baby I can't do this any more.
I tear in fear that the love we share is going to disappear.
I can feel my vision going blurry.
I'm sorry my dear.
I know you don't wanna hear
Anything like that
But for so long I've been holding on
I wish we can go back.
But crap
That's that.
I still love you even when you snap.
Lately I know you hate me.
But the way I act today is because this is who you made me.
I've done so much for you.
Not to throw nothing at your face but passionate love is no longer made.
Why must love fade.
I hate you love.
I hate!
The position you put me in today.
She is so beautiful
So sweet.
But unfortunately the person I Love may not be the one for me.
Ironically.
I still love her though.
Maybe not like before.
Right now I don't know if I want less.
Or if I need more.
Ive been going half crazy.
Just thinking of this lately.
Don't go yet baby.
We can work something out right?
Oh wouldn't that be nice.
If we had one day that didn't involve a fight.
Why do memories stay.
Why does love fade away.
Why do things instantly change.
Why isn't this love the same
These are the thoughts within my brain.
I feel nothing but Shame and pain.
I need thunder
I need rain.
Wash away my tears.
Respond to me love..
Loud and clear.
Why do memories stay.
Why does love fade away.
Why do things instantly change?
Why isn't this love the same?
I'm living my life in fear
knowing that for much longer I won't have you here.
I still love you though.
Not like before.
Right now I don't know
If I want less
Or if I need more