blood

when I was born my mother didn't want me
ten minutes later the hospital bed was empty

I got adopted
and turned into a possession
the worst part for me is the unanswered questions

what's my dad look like?
do I have siblings ?
what about my mother?
you share my blood, you share my makeup
I lived inside of you yet I have no idea about you

you must be sneaky to have hidden from your dad little old me
for nine months
too afraid of catholic daddy yet loose enough with your cunt to deliver me

I can't begin to be mad at you
I have no idea what you must have gone through to reach that decision
I just feel like we could have made a better team

I don't know if our eyes share the same gleam but there's a craftiness and a sneakiness inside me that fills me with pride when I think that you gave it to me

I don't know if you know my dad
I'm not too invested in that
the happy family thing would be great but dad's haven't ever meant much to me

do you use?
I've got that addictive potential
that delicious loss of control
do you get that mom?
do you get swept along too?
fuck it's been so long
19 years and i've got so much to say to you

you could be nothing more than a jersey whore
maybe my blonde hair is all you had to give
maybe the life you had wasn't suitable for a kid
I just don't get it
if you aren't dead I think we could have made it
that's not how you played it

I bet your a junkie
I bet your dead
I was born with fucking lies in my head

I bet you use
I bet you were abused
I bet you've already jumped through the noose

I'm not mad at you but I'm desperate to meet you
I'm not sure what i'd say to you

Mom I miss you

I've never met anyone with the same blood under there skin
i'm on my way to find you. I wanna meet my kin
Please tell me when I get there you'll still be alive to let me in