Losing You

I am rubber
Years old and cracking
Stick your syllables upon me
Etch me with your tongue
I retain the heartbeats of no one
But I feel your footsteps with every brush of the earth
I still consume the nicotine on the laces
The Jager you spit into the dirt
Collapsing in upon your physicality
It’s the only evidence that proves
You exist somewhere
Falling a continent away with every keystroke
The empty letters your hand never wrote
Ghost in the wind
But I can still feel the breeze
You are the Atlantic Ocean when I can only smell the Pacific
You are the sailboat when I can only fly
You are the cave dweller while I am in the sky

I am crochet
With room for your fingers in between my limbs
Unraveling as you untie the knots meant to keep me together
You spilled the warmth from my handmade sweater
Of fabric and lines
Tracking footprints across your torso
That I never could quite reach around
It was always a question of who was encasing whom
A battle of suffocation
Who would allow the other to breathe?
Stealing air
Toxic and staining
Your fingers were rough and painting black streaks down my back
I was desperate for a flashlight
You stole the stars
Left the moon in your wake
But I have always been a fan of pictures
Not reaching for a man with a hidden face

I am crayon
Midnight blue
Tracing my hellos with wax on the wall
Goodbyes always seconds too late
I am stuck at half past two
Forever missing our café date
You’re burning this candle from the wick I broke off
Infused with lemongrass in the hopes of opening your eyes
You fast forward before I can attempt to rewind
Illiterate to the credits
I am in debt before hearing the change in my pockets clang to the floor
The hues of my midnight bled
And like a dull ache I became what you abhor
Dwindling to the puddle I have become
A single ripple and I am undone
Cobwebbed now but still existing
A childhood memory that fell out of vibrancy
Care to remember for just a little while?