emotionally emotionless.

Im so tired of chasing.
who Im not, who I am,
who I thought Id be...
So tired of dreaming,
of places so far away
of fears I thought Id long forgotten.
So tired of crying
over nothing,
over everything,
over anything.
So tired of being so
emotionally...emotionless,
numb and alive all at once.
Its chaotic in this mind of mine
stuck in the whirlwinds
of memories and thoughts.
I swear my brain never shuts up.
i just want silence, just a moment of clarity
just for a second, I wish I wouldnt have to be... me.