Almost There

Okay, so I suppose admitting the feelings I feel suddenly
Are necessary to complete this growth of sorts; to move on
But I do not like this – I do this under duress and hostility

So much for all the construction I have done in the past
All the protection now gone; I completely at the mercy of one
I do not know my role or my lines but the die has been cast

I know from past experience that fighting destiny is useless
It just makes the lesson a harder thing to come through alive
And I am really tired of rebelling against life; of being self-abusive

So at this very moment in tyme, I will admit this one terrifying thing
I am having intense feelings of ? for one - something brand new for me
By admitting this, I can’t deny it anymore to myself; can’t stuff it back within

The whole point of writing this is so I can’t stay stuck in my past
By letting you read this, I can never pretend this thing never happened
So…admission made…feelings felt…protection gone…walls smashed…

I have fallen…into…well I cannot yet say the word! Still I rebel
Scared to finish the phrase…Fear of implosion…of vulnerability
But I am one step closer to allowing my emotions to take over

I am in…almost…