deepundergroundpoetry.com
Time wasted
Dreams shattered
Hearts splintered
Time wasted
Years elapsed
Hope destroyed
Trust misplaced
Hours misspent
MInutes past
Love rejected
Soul abused
Seconds gone
Meaningless life
Hearts splintered
Time wasted
Years elapsed
Hope destroyed
Trust misplaced
Hours misspent
MInutes past
Love rejected
Soul abused
Seconds gone
Meaningless life
Published 30th Sep 2009
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30th Sep 2009 1:09pm
The juxtaposition you have used, in particular
"Love rejected" and "Trust misplaced"
also the way you've ended each verse with a time reference (bar the last line)
"Love rejected" and "Trust misplaced"
also the way you've ended each verse with a time reference (bar the last line)
1st Oct 2009 3:45am
Thank you - it is a good change to get some literary critism on my writings - to be honest the juxtapositions just happened - the time frame seemed to fall into place as well, with a twist here and there...the last line was deliberately different...:) Please feel free to carry on critiquing my work, good or bad it is accepted with pleasure
