Moving on

Do you know what happens next..
Do you want what happens next?
I told you during our last time spent together..
If I heal from this faster than I thought
Once it's all gone there's no getting it back
It's already never gonna be ever worth it
See I'm learning things I never knew
An although I didn't want to loose you..
Growing again like I said
I must need a man
Someone with some time spent longer
So I won't ever have to ponder
The doubt lurking within my soul
And taking back my heart by which you stole
Don't take this shit dude be yourself
The rest can go fuck themselves
Life's too short to stay this hurt

Just see and understand
All this time he just didn't want to use his hand
Say goodbye an leave it all behind
I wish you'd just surprise me
Let me know you care like I do
But it's okay I know now it's all untrue
The things you've said echo in my head
I just want you to cut me loose
Tell me how you've used me
tell me you don't care
Tell me to fuck off and there's nothing left here
It ain't worth fighting for cause you were never truly there

Why do I even try to have friends, a boyfriend? Ya'll want me to see from your perspective an understand where you're coming from.. I'm sorry but what's the point if you can't see me, you don't know me, nobody does.. Do you see .. when you look right threw me if all I've done is let you treat me this way, the doubt lurking within my soul ima take back my heart in which you stole, lured me in with kind words and promises, something's gotta give just cut me loose leave me to be me, the me nobody knows the one who sits and tries to see what's wrong with me that the people who've meant so much to me move on so quickly cause I'm so easily replaced to them, dont matter if i stay or go so really what do i mean to you.. pondering these questions for life that haven't an answer, the things we all wonder and ask but never will we know, I've wished for so long to get things right that I've lost sight to all the things I do that's right and have become this bitter soul counting down the birthdays till I'll part from this world. I am trying, I'm trying so hard to say fuck it and fuck you too.
How much more effort can I put?
I don't want to be here, I keep saying with tears
How would you like me to just disappear?
I'm sorry I don't wanna be traveling this bumpy road how dare you tell me that as if I had the choice!