deepundergroundpoetry.com
Start the party without me
when I'm done punching my own face into the carpet
spilling memory of 'useless'
from this old life
worn from the whittlin'
of 'blah blah you used up fucking blah'
I might find the strength to say no
to your little party
no, I'm not the girl who laughed
leapt from planes
rode the wave
led a march
saved a life
loved you
taught any. one. any. thing.
that girl left
let's pretend I died
you can have your fond memories
without the guilt
that comes from no longer trying to save me
and I can have numb
without a mirror
without memory
'cos even I
guilty as I am
don't deserve that
go, 'do' life
leave me alone
Published 10th Jan 2014
| Edited 14th Jan 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 2
comments 20
reads 1269
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
10th Jan 2014 8:08am
Love... It doesn't feel like the wallowing I think of afterwards, but pushing away, holing up, holding back, giving up on others' expectations of the person you remember being before, when things were different. I know that feeling so well it's palpable! Again, love the expression. You never cease to touch me. [:
10th Jan 2014 12:06pm
"Holed up" you say? Seems you've been peeking through my windows, Jestalessa :-)
Yeah, no idea if, let alone how, this space will be filled. It's enough for now just to say things have changed. Cheers Jestalessa, I appreciate that you shared some of yourself, there xx
Yeah, no idea if, let alone how, this space will be filled. It's enough for now just to say things have changed. Cheers Jestalessa, I appreciate that you shared some of yourself, there xx
Anonymous
10th Jan 2014 8:45pm
Not the girl you used to be/ let's pretend she died... last line of that (really the entire) second stanza - powerful.
Struck a chord, Kaatho. Head up and eyes forward, lady.
Struck a chord, Kaatho. Head up and eyes forward, lady.
10th Jan 2014 10:45pm
Hello Scat :-) To cease battling the waves, and simply float for a bit ... then, as you say, head up and eyes forward for whatever comes next. Thanks for letting me know you saw something in this piece, cheers Scat.
11th Jan 2014 5:33pm
Have read this a few times and like it more each time ... I think the lines read and feel very well weighed out, without feeling forced or heavy handed. Bitter and sweet in uncomfortable realizations...enjoyed. Thank you for the read
11th Jan 2014 11:47pm
Bitter and sweet, I like the sound of that. Thanks lightbaron, I appreciate your feedback. And tickled pink that you spent time on this little number :-)
14th Jan 2014 6:52am
guilty, but not convicted, so maybe there's a chance to ride that wave again...
27th Jan 2014 7:14am
One hopes so ... ;-) Cheers for your having read and commented, good to see you JohnFeddeler
2nd Mar 2014 1:08am
Sorry I missed this Kaatho
I spent a few minutes pondering whether memories would have been more fitting in the second line, I think maybe in terms of spoken or reading aloud if might sound better, but also think memory is more accurate
first line is a great hook, though a hard image to shake, it reminds me of the type of stuff Irvine Welsh writes, raw life, hard hitting.
appreciate the bare you that you've woven into the words, honest, brave and unapologetic
great stuff Kaatho, shine on
I spent a few minutes pondering whether memories would have been more fitting in the second line, I think maybe in terms of spoken or reading aloud if might sound better, but also think memory is more accurate
first line is a great hook, though a hard image to shake, it reminds me of the type of stuff Irvine Welsh writes, raw life, hard hitting.
appreciate the bare you that you've woven into the words, honest, brave and unapologetic
great stuff Kaatho, shine on
7th Mar 2014 8:48am
Heya CraicDealer, good to see you. And glad you took something from this dark old blighter. Yeah first line hung about for a day or two, so figured may as well put it to use ... cheers man, thanks for spending time.
21st Mar 2014 9:25pm
22nd Mar 2014 3:48am
Anonymous
24th Mar 2014 9:34pm
This is the first thing I have read of you and I have to say that I'm terribly impressed with the in-your-face realness of this piece. I like the way it accuses, and asks questions of the nature of what this piece is based on. It's laced with secrets, and sweat, and sinew. Magic.
Thoroughly enjoyed the read.
Thoroughly enjoyed the read.
25th Mar 2014 10:43am
Hello Miss_Sub pleased to meet you. Secrets, sweat and sinew ... I like that grouping of words; and fits well with the carpet ride ;-) Thanks for your encouragement, cheers
27th Oct 2014 5:14am
Ok so you just need to write more . You have such a talent it's not even fare To us wannabes . I love your work
I could add every piece you have written. Please do not stop
I could add every piece you have written. Please do not stop
9th Nov 2014 12:09pm
Glad to hear you got something out of this one ... Been a bit shy about posting, for quite a while, but thanks for the boost in confidence, cheers Gigi :-)
3rd May 2016 1:34am
18th May 2016 8:01am
10th Jan 2020 6:17am
wow that's really good keep up the good work.. well you wrote awesome, thanks for sharing :)
29th Mar 2021 3:24am
