deepundergroundpoetry.com
My Wonderful Fear
For the first time in awhile
I feel terror
But the good kind
The kind that you beg for it to stop
But feel bereft when its gone
The kind that sparks envy in others
And you dream about when your alone
Its amazing to feel at all
And if i fail, if i fall
I will not regret my terror
Becuase it shows that i've started
To climb once more
I feel terror
But the good kind
The kind that you beg for it to stop
But feel bereft when its gone
The kind that sparks envy in others
And you dream about when your alone
Its amazing to feel at all
And if i fail, if i fall
I will not regret my terror
Becuase it shows that i've started
To climb once more
Published 5th Jan 2014
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
6th Jan 2014 4:58am
8th Jan 2014 2:53am
Very insightful, thank you.
I love your last stanza especially "And if i fail, if i fall---I will not regret my terror"
Possible Editing:
1. In the last line of the first stanza "your" should be "you're"
2. Consider switching "fail" and "fall" (whichever way you think is better is best; you probably have already considered it, too.)
3. I also think lines 4, 5, and 6ish could use some work, to make the poem is more fluid. Maybe as:
But the good kind
that you beg to stop
But....
But those are only possible things you may want to change. If you like it the way it is, your poem is still fantastic!
I love your last stanza especially "And if i fail, if i fall---I will not regret my terror"
Possible Editing:
1. In the last line of the first stanza "your" should be "you're"
2. Consider switching "fail" and "fall" (whichever way you think is better is best; you probably have already considered it, too.)
3. I also think lines 4, 5, and 6ish could use some work, to make the poem is more fluid. Maybe as:
But the good kind
that you beg to stop
But....
But those are only possible things you may want to change. If you like it the way it is, your poem is still fantastic!
