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Debating
I can't write lately...
too consumed by other things.
Too wrapped up in stupid shit
that gets me no where.
Well it's been 3 days...
and I just got some money
in my pocket.
I'm debating on seeing my honey
or going to score some shit.
He doesn't like that.
Still, he doesn't know either.
Ring in the New Year high
as a kite, smoke some bud
and drink some jager.
Sounds like a bitchin time but
I think the dope is out of my life.
Pretty sad when this guy may
have changed me and my own
daughter didn't.
It's not she didn't but I dont know.
I guess maybe I'm seeing that
there IS a future for she and I.
So, once again debating...
that beautiful brown
or that young, hot, sweet man
who absolutely adores me?
too consumed by other things.
Too wrapped up in stupid shit
that gets me no where.
Well it's been 3 days...
and I just got some money
in my pocket.
I'm debating on seeing my honey
or going to score some shit.
He doesn't like that.
Still, he doesn't know either.
Ring in the New Year high
as a kite, smoke some bud
and drink some jager.
Sounds like a bitchin time but
I think the dope is out of my life.
Pretty sad when this guy may
have changed me and my own
daughter didn't.
It's not she didn't but I dont know.
I guess maybe I'm seeing that
there IS a future for she and I.
So, once again debating...
that beautiful brown
or that young, hot, sweet man
who absolutely adores me?
Published 31st Dec 2013
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31st Dec 2013 1:02am
31st Dec 2013 1:33pm
I agree with whale on this. Not an easy call. This brown beast of yours is a most pleasant brutality. There are moments when I think "drinking soda everyday is bad for you. Eating fried chicken everyday is bad for you. Smoking cigarettes & drinking scotch everyday is bad for you. Why not score some dope?" Certainly no worse, health-wise. But it's the damn addiction that gets you. I love fried chicken, but I have a hard time seeing myself becoming addicted to it. That brown stuff, though...
there are times when you meet someone you'd like to become a better, stronger person for. Someone you'd like to improve for. It seems maybe you have met this person. There is a shift in your tone lately. It's like you seem to be a happier person than in some of your previous writes. Some of those were so riddled with despair & self-defeat that they were difficult to read in places. I like this voice, though.
Take your time, be patient, & prepare for pitfalls. When we see the light at the end of the tunnel, we sometimes trip ourselves up by making too much haste for that long-awaited exit. The freedom we long for drives us. It can be destructive.
I'm glad to see you on a more positive tip, Meggy, & not beating yourself up too much. Good things come to those who learn to wait. May your New Year be dope-free. I think you're on the right path, at the very least. Thank for sharing your struggle with us.
there are times when you meet someone you'd like to become a better, stronger person for. Someone you'd like to improve for. It seems maybe you have met this person. There is a shift in your tone lately. It's like you seem to be a happier person than in some of your previous writes. Some of those were so riddled with despair & self-defeat that they were difficult to read in places. I like this voice, though.
Take your time, be patient, & prepare for pitfalls. When we see the light at the end of the tunnel, we sometimes trip ourselves up by making too much haste for that long-awaited exit. The freedom we long for drives us. It can be destructive.
I'm glad to see you on a more positive tip, Meggy, & not beating yourself up too much. Good things come to those who learn to wait. May your New Year be dope-free. I think you're on the right path, at the very least. Thank for sharing your struggle with us.
