Greatest Journey

His eyes open, he is on his knees. His eyes opened like no other time in the past 4 years. The difference between this and every other time he opened his eyes was he could see. He could finally see the courage to do what was right. He blinks the slowest blink, sweat drips.  Eyes closed he hopes it will bring further clarity and validity about his feelings. He stalls, thinking, tears drop from his cheek. He stands. His eyes open, his head down to reveal the bathroom sink. His hands on each side reach down; pale and dripping with sweat grip the sides of the sink with frustration, confusion and fear to take control of his life. White knuckles, shaking and covered in sweat holds him up. He lifts his head slowly as the bottom rust spotted metal frame to the mirror come into view. Fear of moving on and staying still rush in equally. Pause. His eyes and neck bend upward and forward to reveal a broken young man. Beaten, he is embarrassed and proud.

It is 1992, he is 20 years old. The switch had finally turned all of the way on. Enough! His nose drips blood from the hour nose blowing extravaganza spectacular. The past four years rush through his mind; the foul-ups like dropping out of high school, rationalizing racist ways, ignoring his family, wasting years of his life, and bending his moral compass and ignoring ethical borders and questioning what must be done to right all of the wrongs that were done in the name of a demoralizing and controlling drug, Methamphetamine. He looks back into the mirror angry; he blows his nose one more time praying he has gotten the last of its influence out. He sobs, he takes all blame, and he had made his own choices. Clarity.

He wipes his face of tangible sorrow ; tears, sweat, and blood. He also wipes away guilt and charge. Validity rushes in, warmth in his heart he has made right choice, finally. He looks himself in the eyes. Conviction he will never return pours in. He is proud of himself, he has freed himself. 20 years later by pure conviction he celebrates diversity instead of fighting it, he is a college graduate, he is sober, and He is me, and I am free.