deepundergroundpoetry.com
til death do us part
congratulations
me, a 23 year old
fucking genius
for completing
the best years
of my life
already.
i gracefully accept
this gold wristwatch
so that i may
always look upon
my new master.
he has raised me
without my knowledge
and now makes
himself manifest
til death
do i part.
i have myself
to thank
for turning away
from more good days
at such a young age
and starting this
graceful spiral
into stooped
irrelevance,
bent down
around my old
nostalgia.
i accept this
honorary degree
which only i can see
that i will hang
over my diploma
so it's all i will see
when i gaze
into the frame.
thank you all
for coming.
i now understand
the creases
in all your faces
when you glance
at the master
ticking on your wrist,
clucking disapprovingly
so let's just adjourn
and be on our way
(til death do us part)
Written for the "Fail" competition, which asked for "a poem about where you're accepting an award for failure."
me, a 23 year old
fucking genius
for completing
the best years
of my life
already.
i gracefully accept
this gold wristwatch
so that i may
always look upon
my new master.
he has raised me
without my knowledge
and now makes
himself manifest
til death
do i part.
i have myself
to thank
for turning away
from more good days
at such a young age
and starting this
graceful spiral
into stooped
irrelevance,
bent down
around my old
nostalgia.
i accept this
honorary degree
which only i can see
that i will hang
over my diploma
so it's all i will see
when i gaze
into the frame.
thank you all
for coming.
i now understand
the creases
in all your faces
when you glance
at the master
ticking on your wrist,
clucking disapprovingly
so let's just adjourn
and be on our way
(til death do us part)
Written for the "Fail" competition, which asked for "a poem about where you're accepting an award for failure."
Published 11th Dec 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 1
comments 13
reads 1314
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
11th Dec 2013 3:11am
One of my favorite subjects of scorn...I became aware of it to an aggravating point around thirty.
If nothing else, it has brought me to relish moments as never before.
Albeit dour...this was an excellent Piece!!!
Good Luck in the comp.!!!
If nothing else, it has brought me to relish moments as never before.
Albeit dour...this was an excellent Piece!!!
Good Luck in the comp.!!!
11th Dec 2013 4:50am
Thanks for the comment soul--and this was a comp from back in March, I only just now got around to posting it here.
11th Dec 2013 2:12pm
well hell man...i'm slow at noticing such things forgive me-But glad i caught it here!!!
Anonymous
12th Dec 2013 2:13am
I found this strange to read, because it doesn't suit that voice I've come to associate with you. It's too crude and angry; I don't mean that as a criticism, just an observation. It's barbaric, mean, nihilistic, whereas even the darkest of your usual poems are written not with contempt but gentle, enlightened, whimsical melancholy. I do miss that sweet, objective, pleasant voice, like that of a philosopher quietly thinking from a park bench, here, but you do give us your typically arresting, precise images.
12th Dec 2013 2:29am
Always good to see you pop up, J. I'll agree that it isn't my usual voice, though I do occasionally try and branch out for the hell of it. I think part of what makes it seem so crude, barbaric, etc, is its short, guttural lines; if it were fully capitalized and written in longer, more complete lines it may have softened the blow. The style is definitely is outside my wheelhouse, though, so I likely won't be sticking with it long term.
27th Dec 2013 6:03pm
never thought you were so young! you sound far wiser than your years.
now back on topic. the way it's constructed is very effective you had me from line 1 until the last word.
well done Mike
now back on topic. the way it's constructed is very effective you had me from line 1 until the last word.
well done Mike
26th Jan 2014 00:43am
Thanks for the read and comment, opheliac! I find one of the fascinating parts of internet anonymity is that you can see who and what people think you are without them being able to see, hear, or otherwise have any idea. It's just your writing voice and what the reader imagines.
13th Jan 2014 7:26am
It is my belief that a very valuable role art in its various forms plays is to highlight those instances where our own value has no congruence with the world around us. In other words we can produce something that is to us grossly inadequate and yet to the public it is superb. You words here suggest such an instance.
26th Jan 2014 00:44am
Anonymous
23rd Mar 2014 8:41pm
A strange read, but good nonetheless :)
11th Apr 2016 3:22am
Anonymous
21st Sep 2016 9:02am
There's a certain genre of poems that I hold a special place for, that I have lovingly nicknamed "cantankerous old b*stard" poetry. This, whole heartedly, is a wonderful entry onto the list.
Sometimes, poetry is guilty of being too nice. I just love this because it is so unapologetically sarcastic. It is a real thought expressed eloquently, and for that, I applaud.
Thank you for the read.
Sometimes, poetry is guilty of being too nice. I just love this because it is so unapologetically sarcastic. It is a real thought expressed eloquently, and for that, I applaud.
Thank you for the read.
25th Sep 2016 5:14am
Haha, I'm glad you find it to your liking. I agree on the nicety part, even negative things can be romanticized in poetry. I'm guilty of it myself most of the time. Thanks for the comment MDeM!
