i dont want to call it anything,better to forget

Moment when you see all those cups full of cigarette ends and ashes,you realise  that you have been punishing yourself
And for a long time now
You get mad
Pissed off
You get new pack,
Pack of poison
You strip the cover off
with a Passion
And look for the lighter in that mess
Being helpless
Finally you find it on the floor
Somewhere in the corner
We all know the story,you light up one
and one more after
And one more
That's the moment when you realise that you have been mad for a long time now