I'm awake right now, right?

I'm too tired to be inspired
maybe this is what they call writer's block
in the corner at starbucks
how the people working here manage to give two fucks is beyond me
whether it's happiness or busyness eludes me

The tea isn't that great but at this rate it's bankrupting me
It's absurdity yet not unheard of for me
everyone has a vice
the goal in life is to find one not bearing too high a price

Caffeine fiend, snorting no-doz until my nose bleeds
In the bathroom throwing up constantly and yet nobody can fucking see
what this emptiness has done to me

You take four pills a day
3 coffees
a glass of wine
overeater you emotional landmine
But the minute I admit to you
my dirty little habit
you stand up on the rooftops pointing and shouting addict

If happiness comes from detachment  
how am I supposed to achieve that
while still holding on to morality
I feel like I have an obligation to the people responsible for my current situation
They raised me and placed their faith in me
around for the creation of this misery inside of me
overwhelming urge to run and flee
but instead they keep their chains on me

The dead horse is still beaten,
Its soul trapped deep inside
forever forced to witness
the desecration of its hide

It's as if trying to achieve a sense of community would ruin me
better off alone
tethered to the world by my mobile phone
not allowed to be alone
Exert myself to friends to what end?
I should stop being selfish, trying to cultivate a relationship
end up hating you for all the time spent chasing after you
I think the whole idea is absurd
I'm either bending over backwards or feeling the sting of your words
forever it feels like my voice can't be heard

So why bother talking
This isn't chalking up
When is this ride stopping?
I'd quite like to get off

You could make happiness your own place
instead you torture me with your mistakes
turning life into a victim hunt
it's got nothing to do with me
fuck off you cunt