Why do I feel like this

Why Do I Feel Like This

In the beginning of this script,
It's like the beginning of my trip
It only has me wonder
Why this world is
so dark , cold, and under
This feeling is defeat
the words that would explain
are just not so specifically sweet
If I could only imagine
Just a world where im laughin
These people with magic
Keep me lit like it's tragic
I believe that im sane
but something follows me each day
Is it the sadness they bring
Or is it my own lonely pain
Stuck in my brain and stuck in this life
Im writing it down like im rolling the dice
Im walking on air
There's nothing to spare
If only I had a table id pull out a chair
Id pull out a rug id give it a shrug
Sitting and writing
i am constantly trying
To better myself to build up my wealth
Slowy but whirly I'll be losing my health
And losing my self so as I lay in bed
I wonder how these sick thoughts came into my head
I wonder why do I feel like this if after
Everything is done
there's nothing left
Its time for a gun.